Saturday, May 2, 2009

To Kiss, or Not To Kiss?

The New York Times reports today that many New Yorkers are now squeamish about handshakes and air-kisses because of fear of transmission of swine flu. Not so in Uruguay, where a single kiss on the cheek as the usual greeting between friends and acquaintances is a deeply engrained part of the culture. Even now that the Uruguayan public health minister has confirmed that there is one suspected case of infection in the country, I don’t think people will think twice about kissing, and I hope they don’t.

There are slight variations in the custom for men and women. Men meeting for the first time usually shake hands only. However, male relatives and close friends will exchange a single kiss on the cheek. Kissing men on the cheek is in no way an affront to a man’s machismo. I have seen members of that uber-macho profession, the Policia, exchange a kiss in hello. Women, however, can kiss everyone. So, women kiss women and men; and men kiss women and close male friends and relatives. Got that?

The same goes for goodbyes. Just like my mother does in the U.S., much to the chagrin of my dad, when you leave a place you say goodbye to everyone individually. Not doing so is unthinkable. And of course, if you kissed them hello, you kiss them goodbye.

As for the kiss itself, it is a quick but sincere peck on the right cheek, not exactly an air-kiss and not a lingering pressing of lips to cheek – that would be icky. In Uruguay, they kiss once, not twice like they do in Italy.

Overall, Uruguayans are very polite, to each other and to foreigners. I think this kissing custom may have something to do with that. When a kiss is exchanged in greeting people, one is reminded of their humanity. There is less of a barrier between people and I think this makes them more considerate of others.

This is never okay, though, anywhere.

1 comment:

  1. Kath,

    I feel so special! How sweet of you to comment on my ‘goodbye’ custom. …and much to the chagrin of your dad, I’ll endeavor never to be lazy in this regard ;)



    When I opened your email (I’m at your dad’s computer – sending an email to Shrive about an article I just read in the Smithsonian about cilantro – Shrive and I have an ongoing discussion/debate about the wonders of cilantro – he loves it – I hate it – and he never really understood why until I told him about an article I read many moons ago about how some people have a missing enzyme in their saliva that causes them to taste ‘soap’ when they taste cilantro – see ihatecilantro.com or go to Smithsonian.org/cilantro). Anyway, here I sit, saw your email in the inbox, opened, read and enjoyed. Now, to my point, when your emails come in, the pictures don’t download automatically – I need to ‘click to download’. So, I read and then ‘clicked’. I am still laughing! What a great picture – and the PUN, I love the pun – swine! You are too good!



    Love,

    Mom

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